Finding Clarity in the Quiet

If you’re someone like me who lives amongst the constant pull from the outside world for attention, i.e. social media, texting, news channels, tv shows, etc, etc, it can be hard to quiet the mind.

It can be challenging to detach from the capitalist focus of our society. The demand for productivity, achievement and accolades. And if you are someone like me, this constant demand can feel overwhelming, frustrating and unnecessary.

Recently, I went on a silent retreat for three days. I’ve been taking retreat once a year for nearly twenty years, and each time it presents for me new epiphanies I could in no way discover in our world of distractibility.

I need quiet. And for prolonged periods of time.

Here’s my cabin in the woods:

In addition, this silent retreat space, known as Cedars of Peace, which is located in Nerinx, Kentucky, sits atop 700+ acres of private land. You can easily go the entire weekend without seeing another human, which I admit I love!

I also spent a considerable amount of time in nature, reflecting.

But I digress.

While on this retreat, I was feeling out my priorities in life. For the longest time I’ve had the desire to become a full-time author.

I was reading one of my favorite “spiritual texts”, The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff (which I’ve read several times, btw), and this popped out at me:

“Each time the goal is reached, it becomes Not So Much Fun, and we’re off to reach the next one, then the next one, then the next. That doesn’t mean the goals we have don’t count. They do, mostly because they cause us to go through the process, and it’s the process that makes us happy, wise, whatever…The goal has to be right for us, and it has to be beneficial, in order to ensure a beneficial process.”

This is me, right here. I’ve dreamed of this goal to be a full-time author, and often times been frustrated, disheartened, even dismayed, when attempting to attain the goal. Why? Is the goal maybe not right for me? What if I just completely let go of the goal? What if I simply loved where my life was today, reminding myself I am already an author. I have this picture in my mind of what that has to look like in order for me to be happy. And as soon as I decide something has to look a certain way for me to be content, is the moment I no longer am.

Bingo.

Enjoyment is about the present moment.

I came home from the retreat and, with the help of some online tools to focus my ADHD on prioritization, I have been, so far, pretty successfully enjoying each task I am doing because it is something I want to be doing, right now. That is how I’ve been able to let go of the outcome. By allowing myself to let go of the expectation that my author life must look a certain way, I can bring my focus back to those tasks I am most interested in completing that may result in me becoming a full-time author, some day.

The Bhagavad Gita says it best: “You have the right to work, but for the work’s sake only. You have no right to the fruits of work. Desire for the fruits of work must never be your motive in working.”

I don’t know if this is of any help to anyone reading this, but the best solutions I came to for myself were that:

1. The outcome of my future is best determined by my contentment today.
2. My contentment today can only come from doing things that truly bring me joy.

This does not mean that from time to time I don’t do things I don’t enjoy. Yes, I do my taxes. Yes, sometimes I have to do author things that aren’t my favorite. But this is the exception to the rule. I’ve come to the conclusion that, quite simply, if I can take time to get quiet and listen to my Inner Nature, my inner knowing, and follow what it would have me do, then chances are, the tasks I pick and choose for my author career are going to most likely be tasks I enjoy. And joy is what leads to long-term contentment. And joy is what is the best determinant for a successful career.

And the way I get there is through taking a step back from what the world thinks I “should” be doing with my career, and spending time in nature, remembering my interconnectedness with it, and finding and carving my own way.

Feel free to leave a comment and let me know what you think. Was this just a bunch of mumbo-jumbo? Did it resonate with you? When was the last time you got out in nature, or got quiet?